Miss Piggy post in http://www.news.com.au
‘MOI’ doesn’t like to discuss my childhood. I plan to sell the movie rights and I don’t want to ruin the deal by telling you too much. Let’s just say I grew up on a farm as an only child.
On the first series of The Muppet Show, in 1976, I was a mere chorus pig. But when Kermit stepped on stage, I fell in love and knew I had to sing by his side. By the end of the show, I was his co-star, shared top billing and had signed a three-picture deal.
Kermie and I used to get flak for our inter-species relationship, but I put a stop to that. It’s amazing how a thoughtful discussion followed by a flurry of fisticuffs can help people see a different point of view.
I have dozens of friends. If you’re familiar with Hollywood’s A-List females, you’ll know many of their names. As for the Muppets, I get along with all of them – as long as they don’t come between moi and the camera.
A great diva must live by the Diva Code: ‘Anything worth doing is worth having someone else do for you.’ Also, you have to be willing to fly off the handle now and then, just to keep your entourage on their toes.
There’s no such thing as a typical day for a diva like moi. There are demanding days, let’s-throw-a-tantrum-for-no-apparent-reason days and, of course, shopping days.
When it comes to my style, I adore Audrey Hepburn’s look, especially the black dress in Breakfast at Tiffany’s. I’m currently developing a film sequel called Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner and a Snack at Tiffany’s. I’m also impressed with the style of Kate, Duchess of Cambridge. And, of course, I’ve borrowed from Sir Elton John’s closet many, many times.
How do I maintain my ravishing looks? Well, it helps that I was born this way. But I’m willing to do anything to improve my appearance: hairstyles, clothes, cosmetic surgery – I’m 98 per cent Botox now. I eat lots of chocolate, too. I’m not sure that helps with looks, but who cares?
The highlight of my life has been meeting Kermie. And every day we’ve spent together since. Another highlight will be the day I win my Oscar, which should have happened this year.
I have years ahead of me yet. But I’ve already decided what my final words on Earth will be: “Back off, buster – I still have two encores and a curtain call!”